Injection #2...

...wasn't any easier.

I practiced on a lime. I watched countless You Tube videos of women all over injecting themselves. I was convinced that I could do it.

But I couldn't.

I don't know what is wrong with me!! You know that moment of pulling off a band-aid and you know you just have to do it quickly because it will hurt but only for a bit and you just need to DO IT ALREADY!

Well this is so much easier, I know it doesn't hurt. There is hardly any feeling at all. But I'm having the hardest time!! I have the needle and I'm ready to go, but then my hand hovers a few inches from my pinched flesh and I just can't. I just can't! It's awful. I had Pam waiting outside while I tried to do it on my own and after a few minutes I had to call her in to do it for me and I started crying. I feel like such a loser because I know I can do it. I really do. But I just need to get over the mental block that is stopping me.

Pam did it and again it was painless and no big deal. It's over so quickly and so easy. It's so wierd because I'm not afraid, I just freeze up and can't make my hand do what I'm telling it to do! Then I beat myself up for being such a baby but in reality THIS IS CRAZY!!! I mean really! This is totaly insane.

But I signed up for this and it's really only the begining so I need to figure out what's going on in my head quickly. I wish I knew that other people struggled with this too.

I will try again tomorrow. I know it's great that I have Pam to help me, but I don't want to rely on her for this. I need to know that I can do it on my own.