<3

Today was the first day of school. I went to the clinic and had my blood drawn and bruised for the first time. (After about 12 blood draws I'd say that's pretty good!) Then I went to the surgery room and met with the anesthesiologist who was so nice. Everyone at that clinic is amazing, they all make me feel like a million bucks. She had me lay on a bed and hooked me up to an automatic blood pressure machine and put the thingie on my finger and also she put 3 electrodes on my chest to have an ECG.

The machine started beeping and within a few seconds my heart beat pattern printed out.

This is my heartbeat:



This is what a normal heartbeat should look like:



She said I have a heart arrhythmia, which can be totally normal and if there is no history of heart problems it could very well be brought on my stress and anxiety. Both of which I've been experiencing almost nightly due to my injections. Last night I did my Lupron injection with no problem. Then it took me over an hour to do the Follistim injection. I was crying and freaking out and asking Pam for help then yelling at her and telling her to go away and then crying that she left...and after an hour of that we finally had me lay down on the bed and Pam acted like a nurse and just swabbed my belly, pinched, and did it. The second she did it I was fine and back to normal, just sorry for how I had acted. I don't know why sometimes it's so hard for me to do, but as always, the second it's done I'm fine and cursing myself for getting so worked up over nothing.

I'd say that's pretty stressful.

The anesthesiologist also said I was having PVC's, which I looked up:

Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) are extra, abnormal heartbeats that begin in one of your heart's two lower pumping chambers (ventricles). These extra beats disrupt your regular heart rhythm, which normally starts in the upper right chamber (atrium). As a result, you may feel a flip-flop or skipped beat in your chest. Premature ventricular contractions are very common — they occur in most people at some point.

Why do extra beats occur?
The reasons aren't always clear. Certain triggers, heart diseases or changes in the body can make cells in the ventricles electrically unstable. Underlying heart disease or scarring may also cause electrical impulses to be mis-routed.

Premature ventricular contractions may be associated with:
Chemical changes or imbalances in the body
Certain medications, including common asthma medications
Alcohol or illegal drugs
Increased levels of adrenaline in the body, caused by caffeine, exercise or anxiety
Injury to the heart muscle from coronary artery disease, congenital heart disease, high blood pressure or infections (myocarditis)

So we're hoping it's not an underlying heart problem but just from stress.

I have to get more blood drawn and an ultrasound tomorrow morning, then at 3 I go back to the hospital and meet with a cardiologist to have some more tests done. This time I'll have a 12 electrodes placed on my body, and then I'll get an Echocardiogram.

Echocardiogram: A hand-held device (transducer) placed on your chest uses sound waves to produce images of your heart's size, structure and motion.

If they still need more data, I might have to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours so they can record at what point my heartbeat does what. I started to cry when the anesthesiologist was telling me I had to see a heart doctor. I explained that I don't have health insurance, but it turns out that this falls under the coverage of the plan that the intended parents were required to take for me. So I guess that means they get billed for this, which makes my heart a little sad to think about.

Now. The doctors have been calling me all day to set up this appointment and ask health history questions and all sorts of stuff. But the one thing they keep saying is to calm down and don't stress out.

And I just happened to have one of my most stressful days at work ever...my schedule is all screwy and I was so upset and kept crying. I'm emotional to begin with, but I'm wondering if I'm extra emotional due to the hormones. Either way, it was a crappy day because I found out I don't have the position I've had for the last 3 years...instead I'm going to have to spilt my time all over the place, and after all that I'm still not elegible for benefits!!

The good thing (well, I don't know if it's actually good but I've been waiting for it!) is that I finally for the first time feel something in my ovaries!! As much as the heart thing worries me, I keep thinking it can't be THAT awful if they are still saying to go ahead and stay on track for the egg donation.

The anesthesiologist even said that the next time she'd see me it would be for the retrieval surgery. So that's awesome. Apparently they aren't too alarmed, and are just being extra cautious for my own safety, which makes me feel really good.

When I walk I feel a dull thud in my lower stomach, on alternating sides and with each step. I can only imagine it's my growing follicles that are enlarging my ovaries and I'm so glad I can feel it! It's supposed to get pretty uncomfortable in a few days, I'm 6 days away from the surgery and by then I should be ready for them to take the eggies out!

Right now it's not bad at all, in fact I feel pretty good considering everything.