I did it! Sorta...

Ok. 9:00 pm is my target time for my nightly injections of Lupron.

At 8:30 both Pam and I were anxious to do it. We decided to play video games for a bit to pass time.

8:55, I say it's time to get ready. We opened the tiny bottle and got the needle all set. Cleaned a spot of my tummy with an alcohol pad. Then it was time.

Pam handed me the syringe and I pinched the spot.

10 minutes later still holding the needle I started to cry. I knew I was just freaking myself out and it wasn't a big deal, I was nervous and having a minor breakdown. I mean, it's just not normal to stick yourself with a sharp object.

Everything in my body was saying I was insane. I tried to remember that somewhere there is a woman who is counting on me to do this so that her dreams can come true.

Pam was wonderful, so supportive and saying all the right things. "I'm so proud of you! You are doing something amazing."

5 minutes later I finally tried to do it. I stuck the needle in, but got scared and pulled away, resulting in a tiny hole and a drop of blood. Got freaked out even more that it was going to be harder than I even thought.

More tears, lots of position changes. Standing, sitting on couch, then I tried sitting on the bed. Gave Pam the needle and she gave me a pep talk. My hand was cramping up from pinching my belly fat for so long. We had to re-alcohol the area.

At 9:22 Pam did it. She did one quick "dart like motion" jab and it worked. It didn't even hurt a tiny bit. She depressed the stopper and voila! All done. Really, there was NO pain at all! I wouldn't have even believed the needle was in me if I didn't see it.

And now it's done. Only it's really just the begining. I think just getting over that first hurdle was the hardest part. Now I know it doesn't hurt, and I know Pam can do it if I can bring myself to. But I think I can. I know if she wasn't around I could do it myself, but I'm glad she's here! :)