My Heart

Went to the clinic this morning for some blood tests and an ultrasound. A nurse checked my weight and blood pressure and then checked my pulse. She asked if I have an irregular heart beat and I said no.

Because I don't.

Then the doctor came in and listened to my breathing and heart and she paused and asked if I have a heart murmur. And I said, "Not that I know of, but the nurse said the same thing?"

So she listened some more and said there is definitely an irregular beat. Then she asked if I had breakfast, and I said no. I asked what was wrong and she said probably nothing, but I should speak to my healthcare provider. I explained that my health insurance ran out and she said that she will talk to the other doctors there and figure out what I should do, if anything.

Then she said that I just might have to get it checked out before the surgery because the anesthesiologist have to be sure my heart can handle being slowed down.

And apparently my heart is beating slowly.

Then she did the ultrasound and I got to see the follicles my body is growing. Everything looks good, she said they are still small but I should start feeling something in a couple of days.

I left and sat in my car and called Pam. Then I hung up the phone and felt my pulse on my wrist. And there it was.

beat, beat, beat, beat, ....., be, BEAT, beat, beat, beat, beat, ....., ....., BEAT

It seems normal then all of a sudden it stops beating, then it does a tiny barely there beat, followed by a bigger faster beat. And it continues on like that, but not in a pattern. There can be 3 regular beats then the pause, or 10 regular beats then the pause.

WTF?!

Where did that come from and how long has it been doing that?! How does that come out of nowhere?! I totally freaked out and called Pam back and started crying. It feels really creepy to feel your heart stop beating for a second.

I came home and started researching online and found that a typical person's hear beats 60-100 times per minute. I checked mine and it just barely made 60 beats. Tried again and got 64. Tried again and got 62.

Bradycardia is defined as a heart rate less than 60 beats per minute although it is seldom symptomatic until below 50 bpm.

So, I guess I'm ok? Ugh. I wasn't expecting heart problems!!

Follistim and my birthday.

Had another hard time with the Lupron injection, we were staying in a hotel in SF for our 5 year anniversary so we brought a cooler with us. We had a great day at the Exploratorium museum, and a delicious dinner, and went back to the hotel to change and get ready to go to a concert. I was going to quickly inject myself but I froze up again. I knew we were in a rush and I think that made it worse, but after about 10 minutes I did it. I wish I could figure out why some times are harder than others.

That morning we went to the clinic and I had an ultrasound and blood drawn and they called and said everything was looking good and now I'm on the next step! So last night I reduced my Lupron from 10 to 5, and then gave myself 225 units of Follistim. That Follistim Pen is intense. The instruction booklet is easy to follow though, and we had practiced at the clinic but still, it's a bit intimidating. I took a couple of minutes to do it but then I was done and it's pretty much as easy as the Lupron.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I kept trying to feel if anything was different yet. I shouldn't think about it, but I can't help it. I feel like there should be something changing...I mean, I know there is inside of me, but I keep waiting to actually notice it. I'm sure once I do I'll wish I didn't though!

Today is my 26th birthday.

I feel good, tired, but I think it's from staying up so late. (I was up till midnight, which for me is very late!!) And I kinda almost think I feel something. I got my period 2 days ago, it's light but I still had my normal awful cramps the first day. But today I feel like there are almost tiny waves of cramp-like feelings.

We're going out for an early dinner with a bunch of frieds and then dessert, hopefully at the Fondue place. I'm going to take the cooler with me again and leave it in the car just in case we don't make it back home in time. The night of the concert I spoke with the doctor and she said it's fine to take the injections an hour or so earlier or later than the target time. I still try to aim for 9pm.

I'm scheduled for the egg retrieval on August 26th. That's in only 10 days!

Video clip of my Lupron Injection...

A short little video update!



Dude, check out that awesome roll of belly I can grab on to! Thank goodness for layers of fat to keep the injections painless!

(P.S. I'm back to counting calories as soon as this is over. lol...)

This is getting so much easier!

Both last night and tonight's injections took less than 2 minutes to do. We went out for ice cream and while standing in line my reminder alarm went off and I realized we had to get home! (Don't worry- we had time to get our ice cream!!)

I walked in the door and got the needle ready and warmed up to room temperature and then BAM! All done! I even let Pam watch.

Nothing to it. ;)

Tonight's Lupron Injection...

...Took place in a bathroom stall during a wedding reception!

We were about to leave and get home in time to do it, but the bride asked us to stay a few more minutes so we did. I went into the bathroom and held up my dress, and Pam was in the stall next to me going potty. Then as she flushed the toilet I did it. Lol. And it was nothing. Just like the others. So easy. Took less than 2 minutes this time.

I'm finally getting the hang of it I think! But I should have held the syringe in my hand a bit longer because it was still a little cold so I felt the liquid going in as I pushed it. So this was the first time I think that I didn't cry. It seems so silly but I'm just being truthful!

Yay for me! :)

#4!

Last night I finally was able to do it myself! It took a while... I get so worked up about it and then I want to punch myself in the head. I know it's not a big deal, but I have these mini panic attacks and I felt like throwing up and I kept shaking.

Really it's a bit dramatic. Pam was getting frustrated that I was taking so long, I think we were in the bathroom for 30 minutes. And then I did it. And it was done and all was fine.

I really really hope it's easier now, though tonight we'll be at a wedding so I'm not sure how that'll work...I guess we'll just take the filled syringe and keep it in a cooler in the car until its time?

Injection #3...

...wasn't easy either.

I wanted so badly to do it on my own. I tried for about 10 minutes but broke down and asked Pam for help. This time I held the needle and counted and her hand was over mine to help make sure I did it. It hurt a tiny tiny bit, but I think it's because we went in kind of slow.

I don't know when I'll be able to do it by myself but I hope it's soon. I get so stressed out thinking about it that when it's finally time I think I'm just a ball of nerves. But I don't even know why! I'm an emotional mess.